The very first time blood rushed down my thighs
Was not because my insides were put to work
In preparation of a home for a future child
The first time was when all was lost
My growing brain still learning the ABCs
No one had taught me what “rape” means
The first time he found me alone
The monster next door took no time to pounce
Eyes of exhilaration, adulterated with turpitude
The first time was a horror scene
Strong hands and a hungry body
Determined to enter despite the screams, the agony, and the ruination of an innocent life
So the next time was the harbinger of memories I tried locking up
The natural cycle had just started but all I could see were the eyes of the devil
My small stature refusing to give up the fight
Period cramps are the kicks to my belly
A successful attempt at driving me unconscious
Making it easier for him to finish
The days I spent wondering what he had done and if there was a name for it
All I knew was that this must have been the most heinous of sins
A 10 minute encounter that would scar the decades to come
The bleeding, which was supposed to be the sweetest adventure
Signaling the home constructed every month, waiting for its inhabitants
But how could I ever shelter a child
When my mind had no home of its own
