I AM WAITING
Here I’m waiting in Paterson on Totowa Ave, Passaic County, New
Jersey, USA, North America, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy,
Human Race
There’s an old church on my right
whose parking lot is vacant and empty; a typical Monday morning; the
parishioners are all gone to face the jaws of harsh reality
On the left side some old dilapidated buildings captured the time in
their broken bricks and tiles
Some people are walking here and there on the street knowingly
unknowingly performing the chores, the routine
The street cleaning will soon begin
And therefore I must move my car before the cleaning car comes with a
police patrol service to ticket those who are parked on this side of
the street
My wife will soon come down from her patents’ building
I look around to see if there’s any suspicious activities
Because this side of the street has the ill reputation for vandalism
and break-in
Here I’m waiting
My pretty wife will be coming any minute
She’s very kind
She’s very hardworking
She takes care of her patents and her young siblings
I pray to God that she lives forever spreading her kindness and
blessings around the poor helpless people who come to her for good
advice
Here I’m waiting in Paterson on Totowa Ave on this warm humid sunny
morning
The filtered light of the sun is passing through the thin layers of
the blue atmospheric
We’ve to do some grocery today
Some meat
Some vegetables
Cholesterol free olive oil
Black olive
Fruits from fruit-bar
Cold-cuts
Snacks, chips organic
Canned tuna
Tissue
Napkin
Ziploc
Easy pick
Toothpaste
Toothbrush
Soap
Bodywash
Floss
Mouthwash
Candles
Deodorant
Medicine
Toiletry
Salsa, salad-dressings
Ice-cream
Home-grown eggs
OJ
Fat free milk
Charcoal to grill
Cultured cut roses to welcome and greet
All the modern days’ necessities to meet the requirements of living in
this 21st Century’s toilet-paper-torn-shit-ass-present-day-color-coded-
class-strata-society
O I get sick to my stomach
And I vomit
I cannot believe the baby goat is so expensive
Almost nine dollar a pound
And I buy seven pounds in a hurry
Then I drive up to Subzi Mandi to buy fresh squash, chili, cilantro,
bitter-melon, red potatoes, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes, rice, bread,
lentils
The lady at the register check us out very promptly
We’ve to soon start cooking
But before that Parul micro-wave some halim to eat
She chops and cuts
I start cooking goat-meat in the electric pressure cooker that we
bought from Macy’s
I hope we will soon be done
For I’ve to take shower and attend my evening class at Rutgers, Topics
in Criminal Justice
Professor Daly usually makes PowerPoint with Prezi, and she’s a good
conversationalist
Parul loves me
I love Parul as much as she loves me
She has very long beautiful hair
And her eyes are as big and bright as the brightest stars sparkling in
the space of infinite endless enigma, love, mystery and maya-myth
I could never bear to see tears on her eyes that she uses to see
fairies and fireflies in the dusk, and make rough drafts, sketches on
the canvas of life
I’m very sorry Parul that I hurt you and made you cry
And I’m so thankful and grateful to you that you’ve forgiven me for my
silly slight
She’s a good wife
And I’m sure she will be a great mom to my kids and a great lovable
wife for me
I’m waiting at Rutgers’ Deck-1 Parking Lot
There’s a tornado watch until 7 pm for most of the areas of Jersey State
Very strong wind blowing everywhere uprooting trees, and downed
traffic lights are making driving more harder to drive
Hopefully after midnight the rough heavy wind will subside
I’ve already put away the big branches that fell a few yard off my
deck where my cats spend most of their times in purring and in silly
cat-fights
Now I must go to be in my class
I hope to write more after I’ve rested and written some assignments
for the class for the night
Now it’s 112 am
Thick heavy clouds overhang the sky
Crickets are calling like the rubbing of sand-paper against the rugged
surfaces of the rocks and wooden-rise
Romney makes frivolous comments about victimization rates in US
More NATO soldiers in Afghanistan die in the unreachable mountainous
terrains of death and life
Pakistan’s president is looking for ways to hide his corruption charges
I’m still waiting with my hearts in my hands and with my too worn
shabby hat resting sideways on my now-balding-head
I feel a crippling pain down the lower half of my left leg
A dreadful funny headache that always stays only on one side
Foggy glasses befog the young night
I’ve sleep in my eyes
But I cannot sleep anymore
Humanity’s misery and mockery make me forget about the sadness of my
own soul
Here I’m waiting in a small waiting room
The doctor is busy checking and prescribing the illnesses and diseases
related with the seasonal flu
My eye-doctor is busy and full
I’ve been waiting an hour for him to acknowledge me in the smaller room
Why don’t they see or appoint less patients who they can cure
Instead of making them wait in the long winding row of rooms
I need a bifocal now, and the lens and frame costs me $656; and
believe me it’s not a joke
I’ve just used up all my saving that I saved for a year or two
I don’t know what to do if I fall behind in rent or my car broke down
Monetized society
Vamp and virgin
Offenders and victims
Rapists and roofies
Zeus and Venus
Morrison and Marilyn
Shakespeare and Tagore
Virgil and the Romanticists
Saturn and Uranus
Atoms
Molecules
Milky Way Galaxy
AI
Z1
Axial axis
Cross Nile
Cross Rubicon
Tremble like a leaf in the wind
Watery sea roll
Windy wind whirl
Sea see and sigh seeing the ship sinking in sink
Blue sky beckon the blessings of the bees
Leaves are being trampled
Tulips are torn and teased
The maidens with empty pitchers wade through the shallow side of the
Ganges knee-deep
Some bathe
Some glee
Some undress below the holy fluid
Their nubile breasts make love with lily-lotus-lips
The twilight-lit-tilted sky paint a pastoral picture with fiery
pigmented films
The maidens mimic the rhythms of romanticism with the rushing reeling
ripped ripples of the Ganges big mighty firm still
And I’m still waiting to see the sun sink in total bliss
To see the full-moon merrymaking within the solar ring
The Sphinx that stood still upon the deserted sandy desert’s nameless
streets
Having witnessed for centuries the fall and rise of many a kings and
queens
The light-house distance with one leg on a mountainous ridge guides
the distressed ship lost in the stormy seas
I’m waiting
I’m waiting
Still
For you to come one day to make love to me
To see you smile below the bough of the mahogany tree
To adorn your long long black silky hair with the fragrant sweetness
of roses, jui, and jasmine
I wait long to see you floating on the wings of the majestic eagles or
Phoenix
To tell you the tale that never been told or finished
The tombstone with the worn rusted epitaph of scroll weep all night as
the weeping rain fall to baptize its soul sans soul-slit
Is there a life after we die
A Heaven to hold
A Hell to behold
A God to greet
A Satan to treat
Life’s a little lullaby
An innocent baby’s unfounded smile
The shyness on her eyes
Tension in her flesh
Tightness sitting tight on her perky pensive nipples that glitter in
the moonlight
Speech that never speak
Sound that never sound
Silence that never silence sleep
Dream that never dream
Forbidden pleasure that lay forever hidden beneath the veil of
incestuous skin
I’m waiting
Waiting for you to come and calm my soul uncalm
Have you ever seen the calmness that linger on the tip of a dew-
dripping dream
The tearing pain of a hymen as a virgin bleeds and the beast rejoices
at the sight of her bleeding lips
Am I abnormal
Am I a freak
Am I the pain of your pain
Happiness between your lips
The insane deeply embedded in your feverish brain
I’m your temple, church, mosque, synagogue
Twin Towers
Grand Canyon
Badlands
Bethlehem
London
Paris
Dhaka
New York
The faiths and fates who and what the flesh fake face
The wind-blown feather glued to your silk-dress
I’m your address, redress, a pink purple red dress
The milking of the music by the cow-maidens
The marigolds growing like liquid gold
The secret love affair of the farmer-daughter with the man who has
herds of goats, sheep, and camels
The waves of the orgasm that have no shore to rush to break
The processes of the photosynthesis in conjunction with CO, H2O,
sunlight
The mystery of the double helical DNA strands
The perplexity of paradox
Sequences of the sequences
Answers of answers
Questions of questions
Parallel Universe
Dwarf stars
Giant stars
Dancing of the quartz
Spinning of the invisible presence
Explosion of the light, dust and dirt
Making of God, relic, religion, love, lust
Life
Death
The shrines cut out in the shapes of inexplicable abstract art
Whistling wind
Howling hill
Broken back
Great Barrier Reef
Great Wall
Great Depression
Trail of Tears
Fragile fear
Tender tear
Playful dolphins
Empire penguins
Peacock
Pea-hen
Steel feet
Artificial limbs
Mississippi
Missouri
Padma, Meghna, Jamuna, Volga, Ganga, Sorosote
Feathery clouds
Cumulus clouds
Silver lightning
Jersey’s violets
Brook-trouts are swimming in the creeks
Honey-bees are collecting nectar to make honey sweet
The ripening ripe blue blueberries are blowing in the red-oak-wind
The eastern goldfinches are feeding happily off the bird-seeds
The horses firm big and beautiful are galloping upon the green-grass-
grown relief
The wetness of her wet thighs as she have wet-dreams having sex and
foreplay with the saint, sage, prophet known unknown named unnamed
The deep dark desire to de-fruit the fruit of the next-to-nest-flesh
Am I insane
Am I ignorant
I’m like a bird without a nest
A lake with no rest
A forest with no face
A woman with no aim
A man with no name
A rain with no reign
The sprouting of the seedlings in the heyday of spring
The hibernation of the mammals and reptiles deep inside the earthen
holes and caves
The mutation of the mutated
The prey of the prey
The huntress’ head-dress
Horny hornet’s horny haze
Eunuch’s mistake
Error of error
Faint of the fainted
Escape of the escapade
Secret of secret
Moon maze
Sun shade
Sinning sun swerving flame
The murderer of your uterus
The lover of your lace
Lipstick on your lips
Kohl on your eyelash
Anklets on your ankles
Henna on your hands
Why cannot I think like a normal human being
And why do I keep writing all this crap about meaningless nothing, the
grief, the misery, the delightful delight of all human freedom and
sufferings
What differences will they make to you and me
The sun will still be rising
The moon will still be menstruating in the month of monsoon wet and meek
There will be war
There will be killing
New faith, new lifestyle, new despair, new disease
Till you and I are gone and dead
And Earth decides to take a new extinct spin
Here I’m still waiting
Are you coming to stab me as I beat and breathe
There’s a new moon in the horizon
There’s a new sun in the sink
What had happened to me
I thought I died long before I finished writing the third line of this
soliloquy of my soul schizophrenic
I’m waiting
Incomplete—
